Jews & Motherhood

Imenu - Our Mothers

The earliest Jewish mothers were our biblical foremothers:


Eishet Chayil

Eishet Chayil, the "Woman of Valor," is an ancient poem from Proverbs that many Jewish men sing to their wives on Shabbat. Eishet Chayil describes an ideal woman and her relationships with her friends and family, neighbors, husband and children. It was incredibly progressive in its time, although now it may seem antiquated.  Jewish tradition teaches that it is also allegorical: in describing the ideal woman and mother, we paint a picture of the qualities we aspire to.


“Her children arise and call her blessed with joy; also her husband praises her” (Proverbs 31:28)

Respect Thy Parents

In the 10 Commandments, we’re instructed to “honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12). 


In life, this means being respectful and loving to your parents. In death, it means mourning them appropriately and continuing to honor their legacy.

Infertility, Childbirth, & Nursing

Many of our biblical mothers struggled with infertility. Sarah and Rachel were both initially infertile, as was Hannah (which is why she prayed). Their struggle with infertility is validated and chronicled in TaNaKh.


Many (not all) mothers become such through childbirth. Childbirth in Jewish law is complicated and renders both the birther and the baby ritually impure for a set amount of time (which isn't a moral statement at all!). 


The ancient Jewish practice was to breastfeed a baby until it reached age two, however breastfeeding is only permitted until a child is 4 years old for a healthy child and 5 years old for a sickly child (Shulchan Arukh).

Matrilineality 

Traditional Jewish law dictates that Judaism is passed down Matrilineally - from the mother. Liberal sects of Judaism accept that having any Jewish parent makes someone a Jew.


Matrilineally dates back at least to the time of the Rabbis of late antiquity. The often-repeated (though not necessarily true) reason given is that the identity of the mother is always certain, but not that of the father. 


There is no genetic component to matrilineally.

The Yiddishe Mama and the Jewish Mother

Many "Jewish Mother" stereotypes come from the old world "Yiddishe Mama," a "sentimentalized figure, a good mother and homemaker, known for her strength and creativity, entrepreneurialism and hard work, domestic miracles and moral force. If the Yiddishe Mama was anxious, this was to be expected—after all, who could blame her? Centuries of anti-Semitism plus the challenges of immigrant life justified her intense mothering style and lionized her willful ways.

As Jewish families rose into the American middle class, the Jewish mother’s anxiety seemed excessive and out of sync with the new suburban reality. She sought status and fulfillment through her children. With some of her family's newfound wealth, she was now represented as entitled and overbearing, showy and loud. She became the scapegoat for Jewish ambivalence and anxiety about assimilation, simultaneously representing those Jewish traits that seemed to resist acculturation and held responsible for the materialism that came with success. By mid-century, the Jewish mother was primarily identified by negative characteristics, tinged with Jewish self-hatred and misogyny."


From Battling Stereotypes of the Jewish Mother

"Mothers Day" in Israel

Mothers' Day was first marked in Israel in 1947 - the date chosen for it was Zionist leader Henrietta Szold's "the mother of the Children's Aliyah" yahrzeit. Initially, it was celebrated similarly to the United States.


In the 1980s, feminists argued to rename the day Family Day as a more egalitarian and inclusive alternative.


Some argue that Family Day, lacking the “crass commercialism” of Mother’s Day in the U.S., better pays homage to Israeli mothers.