Jews & Romance

The Hebrew word most commonly translated as love, Ahavah, is found in Torah and other classical Jewish texts often, perhaps the most famous example is the commandment to "love your neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18). Romantic love is included in the command to love one's neighbor, but romantic love per se is not a central topic in classical Jewish literature.

Many biblical characters do show romantic love; Yitzach finds comfort in his love for Rivka and Ya'akov loves Rachel so much he works 14 years in exchange for her hand in marriage.

Shir HaShirim, the Song of Songs, is a biblical erotic poem that uses powerful symbols of romantic love to portray our love of G!d. As we reach out for the love of G!d, so do we reach out for our beloved.

 In Shir HaShirim, Ahavah is connected with the deepest, non-rational level of sentiment, ahavat nefesh, a "soul-love" (Song of Songs 1:7 and elsewhere); or with the sickness characteristic of romance, cholat ahavah.

Yichud, the word most descriptive of the Jewish idea of romantic love, is defined as "together," "alone, with no one else present, in a room or in an enclosure." This one-word concept describes many of the aspects of the love that Judaism proposes.  Yichud bespeaks an intimacy, a balanced, mutual relationship, and a love that is simpler, more natural, and lasting— such as the love of a spouse.

Jews have historically used "shidduchim," Jewish matchmaking, to find a spouse. Judaism views marriage as the basis of human companionship and the cornerstone of Jewish community.

Not all Jewish marriages are found through a shidduch, even the biblical Ya'akov married for love. Today, shidduchim is still used in some Jewish communities, while in others it is normal to marry for love.

More on Weddings

Bashert (pronounced bah-SHARE’T) is a Yiddish word that literally means “destiny,” but is more commonly used to mean something like "soulmate." The term does not appear in any ancient Jewish texts, the concept of marital destiny — of matches made in heaven — goes back at least to the Talmud but is not universally accepted by Jewish theologians through the years.

More on Bashert

• https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/465152/jewish/Romantic-Love-and-the-Jewish-Concept-of-Love.htm 

• https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/celebrating-romantic-love/ 

• https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/how-does-jewish-matchmaking-work/ 

• https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/what-does-bashert-mean/ 

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_views_on_love